Tiffany's Journal

7:06pm: Evolve
Saw my first Ani DiFranco concert last Saturday.
Go see: Good Show

9:43am: Friday It Is
Skidmore Travel sent a slight modification of my airfare ticket schedule. Instead of Saturday, I'll be home Friday morning around 11:23 am. Keep those fingers crossed. If my stomach continues on the acid reflux disruption annoyance, then you can bet that I will sleep most of the day away.

One fortunate thing that has come out of 2 weeks worth of common colds and schizo-like stomach, I've quit smoking. I use that word cautiously because there is no doubt that I enjoy(ed) it. Yet where health is concerned, it's not worth it. Especially when you're hacking up mucus on a minute basis, or wake up several times in the night hugging the wall because you are in such abdominal pain.

One last thing. Who would have thought that this campus is loaded to the brin with Mary J? Never swag, but bona fide weed.

2:09pm: Update
How goes it everyone familiar and new.

While it is getting frostier by the moment in my neck of the woods, the social atmosphere is equally enjoyable.
I would recommend seeing 8 mile for those of you are considering whether or not to. Marshall Mathers is convincing enough, not to mention he gets his ass beat multiple times in the flic.

Also, as a bonus for purchasing (yes...this credibility still exists) allows you to download an application that lets Eminem send you messages, updates, etc. If you are up to this point, good luck in breaking past the registration business. Note that I have been trying to *register* my authorized CD code for 3 days. Apparently, the server is TOO BUSY. Multiple errors suck dirty scrotum.

So how are you folks doing at home? What are your Thanksgiving plans? Is all well with broken friendship ties? What are your plans for Christmas?

No worries (as if you were bothering your pretty little head anyway). I will be home for a whole month and a week for the December break. Lots of anecdotes to relay. I'm anxious to return to warmer weather, a real job (4.5 hr/wk doesn't cut it), and reconnecting with friends.

Miss you all.

8:29am: Ice
Wow....It snowed earlier this morning.
*hurries to snap photo before it melts*

6:27pm: Big Brother
In the progress of reading: The Cointelpro Papers (ward churchill. jim vander wall)

Cover Description: "Documents From the FBI's secret wars against dissent in the United States"

"Readers anxious about the loss of civil liberties under George W. Bush will find ground in their fears...The Cointelpro Papers...reveals the iron fist hiding beneath the velvet glove of 'compassionate conservatism'. ..analyzes events at Rubo Ridge and Waco....cases of incarcerated Black Panters....wars on drugs and terrorism..."

Go READ how Big Brother is being exposed.

3:42pm: Parents' Weekend
Bill and Beth are up this weekend.

Nothing new to update. Assignments are racking up. Missed a sight seeing opportunity while in class: a group streaked across campus mid afternoon.

12:08pm: Diva Night
Last night, me and a bunch of friends went to the 7th annual "Diva Night" sponsored by the Pride Alliance. Tickets were sold out but I lucked up and found this guy dressed in a rainbow skirt who was selling a stack full *still haven't figured out how*.

It was a dress party where guys dressed as girls, vice versa...or anything original or crazy that you can think of (i.e. girls wearing nothing except censorship/caution tapes across their chests and asses, guys wearing nothing but a diaper made out of bubble wrap).

What did I dress up as? I wore a "newspaper boys hat", a wife beater, jeans, chuck taylor's, and a long tie to match. I traced out an outline of a curly mustache with a large goo-tee. Several compliments. At times, I felt like I was a pet.

It got even more insane when I spotted out the PORN ROOM. They were featuring three stations: heterosexual, gay, and lesbian. I sat there long enough untilI felt nauseous. It was enlightening.

It was also interesting walking around amidst stages full of people grinding on each other or making out against walls. I swear, it was debauchery at its best. I'll upload some pics on my site.

8:17pm: My brother is a miniature brain. I love how articulate he is.

Since we had no school today, I figured that I would use the opportunity to catch up on sleep and try to get ahead in my school work.

Here is the Status: Slept a little, Slept a little, Slept a little....just now starting on real work.

<-----tired already

Reading some of the material is like O.D.ing on NiteQuill.

7:24am: guess who gots a new g/f?

7:01pm: On Campus
After four days of camping, I'm back on campus. Woot. I am so exhausted that I'm fighting the idea of not plopping onto the mattress. *sighs....plop*

12:07am: Ten Days and I'm Still F*cking Up
Perhaps that title is a little too dramatic. I successfully downloaded Madden NFL 2002. It's grr-eat. Do play it if you have the chance. Doesn't matter whether or not you care for football/sports, it's wholesome entertainment.

The past weekend I thoroughly enjoyed the freedom of having NO curfew. I haven't had to deal with such restrictions since graduation. Once Beth gave me the "your-a-big-girl-now", I've been using this to my advantage. Unfortunately, this may have been putting a strain on my relationship with the 'rents. Coming home around 3am or 1am or 12am consecutively calls for attention. There is major construction going on in the house, so the workload may have taken the pressure off me. I doubt it though. I keep thinking that I should spend more time with them. I think about years ago *can you believe* when we were all still learning to enjoy each other's company. It was so easy then to lounge out in the living room and talk comfortably. It could be my own insecurity, but I have a lurking suspicion that I am wearing these guys out. I think to myself: you can't continue to disappoint them. Then comes nonsensical excuses like "I still have the leeway of doing dumb things because I'm still young." Of course I know this is an easy-out; simply put it's bullshit. A friend put it all in perspective for me one day during lunch. I cannot recall the exact phrase he used, however I do remember the selfish feeling I got after wards. I care about 'em and want them to know it. If not my track record, my way of showing this needs fine tuning. They're coming up to visit the campus/town and to help me get situated for the fall. This alone should be a clear signal that these folks care. I don't know why I have trouble resting on that. It seems like it needs to be repeated so that I don't forget.

As for other things that I've been thinking about...I'll leave those unsaid until I figure out a way to resolve. Okay...since the previous statement was a lead-in, I may as well get on with the idea. It may be a little too late in the game to show interest for some new, but I think I may do something courageous. She's too sweet not to have company. She says that she is shy about being upfront with people she likes. I'm getting all this info as a third part, feigning disinterest during a conversation. After walking out of the place, I felt like an idiot. I should have said what I was thinking the moment she brought it up, but I never do. I know how to contact her, but don't want to make it obvious. I've sent "the word" of oh i think she's cute and could be really neat to hang out with when questioned about the matter. Thing is, unless you are all up in my face about it I would never think that you're interested. Ironic that I do exactly the thing that keeps me in dark. *sighs* Oh well...hopefully I'll be smooth in the event of stopping by one afternoon/evening. I'll have to invite her to play pool or something cheesy like that.

Whatever this amounts to.

12:17pm: if anyone can give me pointers about how to embed multimedia (avi clips) into webpages, it would be great.

1:32am: I posted this in another community, but i want to share it here too.
Note: it is half past one thirty a.m. When reading, go easy on the late night/morning editing. I don't have the stamina to sift through the thing again. Also, i posted this in the "i kiss girls" lj community. I'd love to hear what Cuedus would have to say about this. He makes me think...really think.

*

An excerpt response to another person's post.
---
>I need to let go--simply live. How do I turn my fucking mind off?

That's the thing. Your mind is precisely that permanent subconscious person you can never really just turn off. I agree that the best you can do is just to go with the flow of life. Although you can't be too passive because you'd like the tide take control of your life. There's not enough comfort stability in that. Whatever the case, don't spend too much time worrying-just be.
---

I just finished a conversation with a friend a few minutes ago. Surprisingly at 1 o clock am, it has set off a flood of thoughts that I entertain myself with periodically. She wonders if interest still connects her to another guy in the summer program. She is troubled by whether or not a friendship- or maybe more- will blossom from ocassional closed door "everything but" sessions. She's polish, he's *from my perspective* African American. In order to curtail the stereotypes of this, I would have to add that both are from NY. She being the upper state all american girl, him being the athletic softspoken type from Kingston, NY. We have been chatting with each other online often about the status of the situation. She doesn't want to him to feel like there's nothing more to them than a summer fling. I stand as an outside source, attempting give advice based on how we all interacted during the 4 and a half week program together. Becaue I love the idea of diversity, I find interracial relationships to be quite appealing. While this attraction adds to my character, it may also be one of my pitfalls.

I think I may have scared said girl off by the randomness- or perhaps awkwardness- of my conversation. I told her that I feel like I've let myself become programmed by culture to decide who I am immediately attracted to. You would rightfully assume that a black person would first be attracted to another black person. In my case, this is not one hundred percent true. I love the fact that people come in a variety of shades, personalities, and features. This interest is emphasized by my enthusiam for interracial relationships. Yet, I think that something has been lost either about myself or within my perspective whenever I automatically associate beauty with a causian female. I don't know if this points out an insecurity within myself or not, but i see conflict in my ideal person being the stereotypical dark hair, brown-eyed white girl.

*why not blondes? Blondes are too overtly exploited in culture. I think that stereotypes have put blondes at a disadvantage, especially where first impressions are concerned. Tell me if you feel otherwise.

From the big screen, in media, music videos, even in books, the dominance of images of white people are plastered everywhere. Modern culture promotes the majority as being the "in" group: status, fame, beauty, intelligence. You name it. My favorite quote comes from a line in a movie. "Think white, get serious." At first, the irony amused me. Now as it is hitting closer to home, it's more serious than funny.

I am seriously hoping that my experiences at college will expand my definitions of beauty, of attraction, of security, of admiration so that I do not let stereotypical associations hinder my perspective about possibilities. At this point in the conversation, my friend abruptly excused herself to bed. Maybe this type of conjection is a little too much for late night conversation. My advice to her was this: "we are all freshman at some point or another." Her response: "true enough." I guess I wanted to vent out these thoughts. This openness is completely geniune because there exists vulnerability in putting yourself out for display in cyberspace.

I do wonder though if subjects like these warrant reactions in a setting where finding and/or dealing with ex g/fs seem to be the highlight of spurring on conversation. Once again, if you feel otherwise don't hesitate to let me know.

11:08am: Enough of this shit...
So I'm FED up not posting. It's been months since I've written something worth more than a two comments response. Am I not stimulating enough? Do my questions/ideas stand as an open and shut case? I mean come on, what the fuck.

JUST KIDDING!

I thought the superficial tirade would make a good intro. *wink* So it's been too long folks, and it feels so good to be bbbbbbbbbaaaaaaaaaccccccccckkkkkkkk. Fuck that. I got back Wednesday, sat like a wallflower for 2 days because there ain't SHIT to do in this neighborhood except bake in the heat. [I'm missing my Saratoga Springs already.]

Hopefully things are calming down in your neck of the woods. It's been pretty chill for me. Going back to work this week. Found a new community on lj. Perusing demo sites for hot games. The summer program was nice. It was intense as but fun as hell. Met lots of good peeps. Got digits two days before I left from some cute blonde chick at the mall. She worked in HAT WORLD of all places. I'm still unsure if what she means by calling her to hang out, especially if calling her involves calling her b/f's house. HMMMMMMMMMM...I guess I'll have to see where this ship is docked in September.

I don't have much to update on besides the above. Just letting my people know that my nappy ass is home.

2:50pm: Gee!
For some reason, it just dawned on me that my journal could be in danger of termination. I haven't posted in awhile because I've been doing other things, working on other projects, reading other people's journals. Just plain old OTHER. Since I gave Alaina one of my free lj codes, I figure that it is time to keep my account alive so that she can enjoy the longevity of hers. Mm-hm.

This wouldn't be complete without another plug.

http://skidkid.netfirms.com

11:56pm: My God...
I feel like my head is going to implode! Well...it's not THAT serious, but I am absolutely exhausted from the workload this week. Thank God tomorrow is Friday. One more paper and midterm exam to go. Phew.

5:13pm: Redirecting
http://skidkid.netfirms.com is and will be my permanent domain here after. All journals will be posted there. Correspondence and bookmarks are welcomed.

11:11pm: So what are the plans?
Kris, I will call you sometime (hopefully) before work Thursday. No work Friday - Monday, so let me know if you guys want to DO something as a cap off to the commencement ceremony Friday. Saturday is best, but again...let me know.

2:13pm: Inspired by Kris' Man Boobs note
Dear Big Lips,

Do not break out on me this week. I have a huge grad. ceremony in four days. A huge, noticed cold sore just won't appeal to the crowd full of numerous family members, friends, classmates, administrators, bright lights, and video/digi cameras. Lord, please...nip this horrid in the bud before it gets really really noticeable. Fuck the stress that spurred it on.

Ugh,
T.D.

1:13pm: One More thing...
Jayar and Quentin, you two are missed.

1:08pm: Perl This...
Okay...2 weeks into the event, I am STILL working on configuring a new site. It's all about "cgi" files and such. I have completely uninstalled it and installed it again (down to every crumb of info I had) to make sure that I am key on what I am doing. [Woah...Now that's what I call a run on sentence.] I don't care....I'm typing way too fast to reedit. Okay...*love that word* I mean business. BE there This FRIDAY AT 7PM AT McCALISTER FIELDHOUSE. If not, I'll never forgive you bitches. *sarcastic smirk* Although I have my driver's insurance, I am still waiting on the lofty return of the 1995 Ford Bronco II. Bring that shit here. I'm ready to learn.

More on the Perl Programming site later.

11:41pm: RUDENESS SURVEY PROVES MOST AMERICANS REALLY WHINY
New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) — According to a troubling new poll, nearly 80 percent of U.S. residents claim rudeness has become a "serious national problem," a finding that proves conclusively that most Americans have turned into whiny little bastards.

Speaking loudly on a cell phone in public is annoying, say most Americans, (who need to get over it, for chrissake).

In the study, released Wednesday by the non-profit group Public Agenda, the majority of the 2,000 adults surveyed bitched and moaned about so many different "rude behaviors," like foul language and a lack of common courtesy, that it's almost fuckin' funny.

In particular, the so-called "Status Report on Rudeness in America" found that nearly 9 in 10 respondents came across rude, disrespectful people "sometimes" or "often," but failed to place the question under the category "Who cares?"

Also, unlike the old days, when if you were rude to some guy, he'd call you an asshole and you both went away happy, 42 percent of today's Americans actually believe the best thing to do when someone is rude is to walk away, while 36 percent say the solution is to be "especially polite" to the person.

Among other actual survey results:

¤ 62 percent of precious darling whined that rude, disrespectful behavior "bothers them a lot." Boo hoo.
¤ 69 percent of delicate flowers say respect and courtesy are "contagious," and these are probably the same people who wish Mary Poppins were real.
¤ Oh, and get this: 61 percent of sniveling babies say talking on cell phones in public places should be outlawed. Does the phrase, "From my cold, dead hands" mean anything to you?

Speaking to a reporter who had barged into her sad excuse for an office, Public Agenda spokeswoman Amanda Light, who seriously needs to see a dentist, said the survey was not meant to reveal Americans' thinning skin. Instead, she insisted, it was meant to show that rudeness is a serious problem that negatively impacts society.

Unfortunately, her helpful little "lecture" ended abruptly when she was shown a hand gesture that 87 percent of respondents would find "somewhat" or "very" offensive.

9:38pm: Highly Annoyed
I got my driver's license last week Friday. It's pissing me off how the car that I am supposed to be driving has been sitting idle in the north charleston court house parking lot for 3 weeks. I mean, come the fuck on. I've only got 2 months to learn to drive this bitch. Wouldn't it make sense to bring it home so that I can get a jump on the ins and outs of manual shifting?? *rolls her eyes*

10:50pm: ...
Eleven days remaining in the school year. Hell yeah!

1:43pm: Happy B-day Kris and soon Shawna also. I'll need your home addy so that I can mail your invitations if I don't see you two soon. I have no idea what my M.S. work schedule is this week. Otherwise, wild out baby.